As I sit here and write this post, I realize that my sex life has suffered for over ten months. I must admit that having sex has not been my first priority. I have legitimate excuses (at least that is what I keep telling myself). Now nine months pregnant, I dealt with six months of morning sickness, constant low libido and excruciating pain in my lower extremities. This made having sex complicated in our household.
Is it selfishness on my part? Or is it a lack of patience on my husband's part? I think it could be both but going back to what the bible says in
1 Cor. 7:5, makes it more my fault. The scripture states:
Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
My husband and I never had a discussion, I made a choice for the both of us. Thankfully he has been patient and supportive but I can tell this topic continues to bother him. My husband and I are not alone in this struggle. According to a Mother of Life Article, one of the couples interviewed about sex during pregnancy were honest and stated they did not have sex in a year. According to a research done by The Journal for Sexual Medicine, Over 41% of women felt less attractive while over 70% of men still found their wives to be attractive. This caused sexual tension during the 9 months and beyond of pregnancy. Do you think the root of it all is because pregnant moms feel unattractive? I know this is true for me, but there is also another root to the problem that has little to do with the wife but more to do with the husband.
In my first and second trimester, my husband was really attracted to me, although my low libido prevailed. Now in my third-trimester he has no desire to have sex. After doing some research I realized that many husbands feel the same way when their wives are pregnant. There were 3 main reasons why they were no longer interested in sex:
1. Harming the Baby
2. Lack of attraction
3. Financial stress
Three (3) Ideas For Dealing With Sexual Intercourse During Pregnancy
1. Find Pleasure in Other Ways: Not every Christian believes in oral sex but there are many who do. Pleasing your husband orally may be a good option.
2. Think Outside The Box: Focus on other ways to be intimate through emotional (heart to heart discussions), spiritual (time in the word together and discussing struggles and improvements as it pertains to spiritual intimacy) and recreation ( enjoying activities together)
3. Agree on Something: Every family dynamic is different especially during pregnancy. Find out what both you and your spouse plan to do throughout the different stages of pregnancy and stick to the plan. Having a plan reduces arguments and unnecessary tension in the home.
If you have suggestions to add please feel free to share. Bringing new life into the world is a blessing but we must find ways to remember our husbands during the process.
I look forward to connecting with everyone this week as we link up